Kawaii Hawaii
by ROBLOXCATSTORM
Summary: Ran and Shinichi frick up bad. Real bad.
1. It's Fricking Time I Made This Fanfic

this is a fanfiction i wrote up for storm980's birthday because he wrote me a fanfiction for my birthday. the original idea for this fanfiction was his and i have fulfilled his wishes by making it a real, tangible thing. YAY!

disclaimers are for sissies

* * *

Shinichi ran into the darkness like he was never coming back or something. Ran began to follow him but suddenly her shoelace, weakened by an acid puddle that she had stepped in earlier, fell off entirely. Ran looked at it for a moment and then defying every ounce of common sense in her mind followed Shinichi.

She knew that he would need karate backup if he came face to face with those thugs. Even if Shinichi was a reckless jerk who had devoted his entire personality to Sherlock Holmes, Ran could not bear to see him get hurt, or worse, because she'd get a guilt trip for probably a thousand years.

As Shinichi watched around the corner, he noticed Ran approach silently behind him. "What the heck, Ran," he said. "I asked you to wait up." He had to pretty much hiss this under his breath because the scary thug in the sunglasses was literally right there making a sweet deal.

"Sorry, but I can't let you just run off and get hurt." Ran said this a little too loudly, and the second thug appeared out of nowhere (he jumped off the roof in actuality) and gave them both a proper whack on the head. They slumped on the grass.

"You pesky teenagers have been playing a little too much detective," said the tall guy. "Look here, Vodka, we've caught a couple of rats."

Vodka began to take a pistol out from his suit jacket. "Put that away," said the tall scary thug. "No need for it, especially with the cops still around. Did you forget about the new drug the Organization developed?"

Ran was watching this except she was also in too much pain to really be able to think anything of it.

Vodka looked with an eager light in his sunglasses as the other thug took out a pill box. "Oh buoy, oh buoy! That's the one that doesn't leave a trace, right?"

"Heck yeah. I've been waiting to dish out this one." Gin took out the vial and two capsules and properly administered the pills to their rightful recipients.

"Well," thought Ran, "at least I went out with a bang. And with Shinichi. Who I obviously have feelings for." Then she passed out.

"Inspector, we've found some bodies!" said a voice who was talking into a walkie-talkie. "I think they're kids or something. Who knows? I can't see with these shoddy flashlights." Ran realized that she was conscious and sat up. Then she looked over at Shinichi who was still lying on the ground but like, half awake.

"Ugh, what time is it?" said Shinichi, who had just realized that something was really wrong. "Ran?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened?"

"I dunno."

"Let's go find out for ourselves." Shinichi got up and proceeded to trip over his jeans. "Oh."

"That's weird." Nobody was really conscious enough to realize what happened. Ran and Shinichi decided to casually leave the park while the police continued to flounder about, completely baffled at whether anyone had been there in the first place. Shinichi and Ran walked down the sidewalks of late night Tokyo, with several drift racers driving by and splashing them with extreme accuracy and precision.

Finally Ran's vision stopped being really blurry and she noticed that everything was really big, including her clothes. "Uh, Shinichi?"

"Yeah?"

"Is this some sort of trippy nightmare?"

"I hope not. I also hope we're not dead or anything." Another custom neon-lit car made a challenging swerve, nearly hit a fire hydrant, and soaked the both of them again.

Then Shinichi stopped and Ran looked at him funny because Shinichi immediately shoved himself up against a mirror. "Shinichi, what are you looking at?"

"Ran, I don't think this is a dream, I think we're actually awake and everything," said Shinichi, "and also I have deducted that we're not sixteen anymore."

"Oh crap," said Ran. "But that does explain what's wrong with my clothes."

"What should we do?"

"Maybe Professor Agasa will have some way to fix this."

"Yeah, let's go there. Also you should call your dad, he is probably worried sick."

"Or he's just sick from the alcohol and has failed to notice that I'm not there at all."

"Ha ha, yeah."

Shinichi and Ran got to Agasa's front yard, but then Shinichi changed his mind. "Wait, Ran, I want to get something from my house." He walked over to his gate and realized that it was too tall for him. "Hey, could you help me out here?"

"This must be really embarrassing for you," said Ran. "But whatever." She gave Shinichi a boost and they successfully opened the lock and got inside.

"At least we're not alone on the streets any more," said Ran. "Do you have anything that could, uh, fit you? Or me?"

"I have my school uniform, sadly," said Shinichi. "I don't know about you, though." He ran off into the huge walk-in closet that I totally didn't just make up.

"No, wait, there's some clothes in these old boxes," said Shinichi. He got Ran a t-shirt and shorts which were pretty generic as compared to his full-fledgedly formal blazer.

"Can I be the first to ask why exactly this happened?" said Ran.

"I have no id- no wait, it was probably that drug that those men in black gave us or something."

"Why would it do something like this and not cause some crazy malfunction that leaves us horribly impaired?"

"But that's what happened."

"No, I mean this is probably reversible."

"Sure, and how?"

"I'm sure Holmes with all of his 'knowledge' would be able to devise a solution if he was stuck like this."

"You make a good point, but Holmes never had to deal with something like this."

"Have an imagination, Shinichi. What if he had?"

"I can't ask Arthur Conan Doyle himself, baka."

"Whatever. You're impossible. Let's go see Agasa-hakase."

Ran and Shinichi walked over to Agasa's lab, but then suddenly an explosion wrecked a wall and Agasa appeared in the middle of the wreckage, a jetpack on his back, relatively unscathed but now covered in dust.

"Are you okay, Agasa-hakase?" asked Shinichi.

"Who are you guys?" said Agasa.

"It's us, Ran and Shinichi," said Ran.

"Really now," said Agasa.

"No s***," said Shinichi. "You've got to believe us. We were following these men in black and they gave us a drug and we woke up like this and I don't know what to do."

"Pssh, prove it."

"Okay, okay, you were just at Columbo restaurant because you have their special sauce on your mustache, you've been running in the rain near a construction site from what I can tell is on your pants, and as a bonus you really can't tell who we are? I'm ashamed. These are just the beginning of several deductions I can offer to you to prove our identities," said Shinichi.

"Also," said Ran, "I can prove to you that I still qualify for my black belt."

"Oh crap," said Agasa. "Uh, come inside."


	2. Everyone Point and Laugh at Kogoro

Shinichi and Ran walked down the street again, much less soaked and careful to stay away from the curb.

"Don't you think it's dangerous that we're walking down the street alone like this on this sort of night?" said Ran.

"Give it a rest. We're fine."

"But what if those men in black show up again?"

"I'm pretty sure they left before they could see what happened to us. They expected that drug to kill us dead. If we're seen, they won't recognize us or suspect a thing. But that still leaves…"

"What?"

"We still need to find out who they are."

"Are you implying that if we spot them again that you're gonna sneak off and follow them? You'll probably get killed for real if that happens."

"But we've gotta find out who they work for."

"Can't that wait until Agasa figures out a way to fix our situation? And can't we get the information secondhand from Otou-san anyway, once we explain this to him?"

"We've gotta take the chance if we see them, Ran."

"You're impossibly bold, Shinichi. Look where this already got us."

"I know. Your dad's going to kill me."

"Yeah.. What's he going to say when he sees us like this?"

"It won't matter in the end. It's just an initial reaction."

"Shinichi, I think reactions are important. A reaction can really tell something about someone's personality."

"Where did you read that prosaic nonsense?"

"I didn't read it, I made it up myself."

"That explains it, then."

"Rude, Shinichi."

They approached the detective agency. Ran walked up the stairs and grabbed her key out of her pocket, and reached for the keyhole. Shinichi stood patiently as she tried to figure it out. "I'm still sorry for this," said Shinichi.

"No, it was my fault too for bothering to follow you, else you wouldn't have been caught."

"But I was the one who got nosy in the first place."

"Okay, how about it was both of our faults?"

"Yes, but still mostly my fault."

Ran opened the door which knocked over a couple cans of beer on the floor. They were everywhere. Kogoro was laying on top of his work desk with his feet resting on his mini TV. His tie was around his head.

"Your father got freaking hammered," Shinichi said.

"Shh."

Ran picked up some of the cans and forced them down into the trash can. Then she turned to face Kogoro.

"Really, otou-san. This is your worst night in months."

Kogoro mumbled drunkenly.

"Down here."

Kogoro turned his head atop the desk. He drooled out of the side of his mouth while his eyes tried to focus on who was standing before him.

"Ran, do you know what time it is," he managed to say. "Go to bed already."

"No, do you see what this is?"

"What?"

"I'm a little kid, Otou-san. Do you see this?"

"Huh?" He moved one of his arms and knocked over another empty can of beer.

"He's too drunk," said Shinichi, who had taken to cleaning up the mess.

"Yeah, I might as well give up on this," said Ran.

"What are you gonna do?"

"He's going to flip if he wakes up in the morning and sees this. I'd rather stay at your house."

"We can't, the bad guys might have gone there to check if we were present. We'll have to go to Agasa's."

"Oh boy, just like those sleepovers we used to have."

"If we pretend we're not sixteen and aren't hiding from those men in black, it's almost exactly like that."

"Heh, yeah."

Ran got a couple of things from her room. Shinichi watched Kogoro flounder about on the desk as if his brain was working in slow motion.

"All right, let's go back to Agasa's. Should we phone ahead?" asked Ran, who had a backpack full of her stuff.

"He's expecting at least one of us to come back already."

"Okay, then." They headed out the door and Ran took her sweet time in locking the door behind them.


	3. Tokyo Drift Acceleration Squad

Kogoro woke up with a horrible headache. Actually, everything was in pain. He sat up, realizing that he was on his desk, crushing half the papers that he had been working on and a half-finished apology letter for not being able to find the kidnapper he was hired to stop the previous night.

Then he realized that all the beer containers from the mass drink-fest he had created had vanished. No wait, they were just in the trash. Ran had probably cleaned up after him. No wait, he had seen Ran doing that, so that really happened. But there was something really weird about it, so it was probably a dream. Ran had been really short. Maybe it was the fact that he had been lying on his desk. But wouldn't that have made her look taller from his perspective? Dreams made no sense.

Kogoro tried to lift his weight off the desk without causing further damage. Then he got off on the window side and stood up. He then remembered that he had an appointment with the police that evening over what had happened at the company president's house, so he went to properly address his image. First, the tie had to go in the wash because it was tainted with a beer smell. Then shave. Then comb hair. Then get his nicer suit out. It had been his first case in months and he hadn't even worn his best suit, which he partially attributed to his failure. Dress for success.

He walked by Ran's room. She wasn't there. She had probably gone out with her friends, but she hadn't left a note in the usual place (the refrigerator). She'd probably call him later from a payphone. Or was she okay?

Kogoro then noticed something else. Her toothbrush was missing, and so were some of her toiletry items. That was really strange, unless she was going to go have a girly sleepover with Sonoko. Unless something was actually wrong. But if something was amiss, why would Ran get all her stuff? That is, unless someone else got those things for her. Considering that his mess had been cleaned up, it probably was Ran, though.

He went into her room. It was breaking an unspoken rule of privacy between the two to do so, but he had to make absolute sure she wasn't trying anything serious. He noticed that some cardboard boxes under her bed had been dislodged. He opened them up. They were full of older clothes that Ran had kept for some sentimental reasons, but they looked like they had been hastily gone through. Why would Ran need these? He doubted she'd just give away her clothes to some friend's kid. This was really strange.

As Kogoro looked through the clothing, he remembered some of the clothing from older pictures of Ran, from when she was a little kid.

Wait… That dream he had. Why were Ran and that detective kid there? He at least got the idea that he was there. That couldn't have really happened. But if Ran was so short in the dream, and in real life she was going through similar sized clothes, was that just too much of a coincidence?

Kogoro sat down and put two fingers to his head, like what he saw in those shows with psychics. He gave in to his current flight of fancy and tried to remember the rest of the dream.

Ran had been really mad at him and also sort of hysteric. She was telling him off for drinking again. But she was also a little kid. Did he hear things in real life and hallucinate the rest of the dream? Was Ran actually giving her clothes to some little kid that he had overheard discussion about? Why would that Kudo guy be there, too? Coming uninvited into the house with Ran, then leaving… The thought of it made him furious. She was probably having some sort of sleepover date with him. But why the clothes, then?

There was only one man who could give the details to Kogoro if anything had gone down at the Kudo household. A man that he had trusted for years. One Agasa Hiroshi.

He didn't bother about calling. He knew all too well that his deduction was already right.

* * *

Shinichi idly flipped through the channels on TV. Ran had wanted to prolong her father finding out about the ordeal.

"I can't just disappear," said Ran. "He knows that I know better. And I've given him indications that I wasn't just taken against my will. Sure, maybe my age was taken from me, but-"

"Can we stop referring to that?" said Shinichi. "It's embarrassing."

"No one cares about your inner pride, Shinichi."

"No, I mean, stop making little inside references to how we got turned into little kids."

"Fine, if it distresses you so much."

Ran was pacing.

"You really could have just left a note saying that he needs to go see Agasa," said Shinichi.

"You don't know how my dad's mind works. He's a detective even if he's lazy at finding the clues. But when it involves someone like me, he's going to actually get motivated to look."

"But you still could have just left a note. He would probably be here by now if you did."

"If he saw the note he'd get a lot more freaked out than if he slowly pieced it together."

"Are you sure that just leaving your tracks behind will show him that he needs to go to Agasa's? You saw that letter he was working on. He got a case and failed to solve it last night. I'm sure that if I was there, or maybe my dad, it would have been incredibly obvious."

"Are you really that confident about your abilities? It could have been a case that could even outsmart your father."

"Yes. Also, you already mentioned that your father is a lazy detective."

"I also just said that he gets competent when I'm the one at stake."

"I've never seen him do that."

"It's really cool."

Agasa walked in the room looking disappointed.

"I looked at your blood samples, and there's nothing noticeable that can be seen by the microscope, or tested with chemicals."

"So the poison really is untraceable," said Shinichi.

"It's left your system already, or perhaps destroyed itself," said Agasa. "The more unlikely option is that it's still in your system, but simply undetectable."

"Why would you consider that?" asked Ran.

"The men who poisoned you two meant that it would never show up in an autopsy. That doesn't mean that the substance ceased existing. Still, I doubt that removing the poison will remove the effect."

"So it's freaking permanent," said Shinichi. "We're doomed to be stuck like this forever."

"Don't give up so easily," said Agasa. "If this substance can cause this effect, there's probably something out there that can do the reverse."

"And if we don't find it, we're still going to be stuck like this forever."

"Hm, I don't know about that. Theoretically, if the poison is a one-time job, perhaps your pituitary gland is functioning normally, meaning you'll be able to age again."

"What if it's not? What if the poison is constantly acting inside us?"

"Give it a rest, Shinichi," said Ran. "This isn't the time for pessimism."

"What are you talking about?" asked Shinichi. "My reputation has vanished because no one will recognize me, I can't tell anyone who I am, and I'm completely helpless by myself. This is the worst case scenario."

"It's better than us dying from the poison," said Ran.

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad."

"Whoa, Shinichi," said Agasa. "Watch what you say."

"Yeah, take a few deep breaths or something," said Ran. "You need to think about this rationally, like a detective. Like Holmes."

"Holmes wasn't a freaking six year old," said Shinichi.

"Well, what if he was?"

"We've had this conversation before, Ran."

"Yeah, and it means you have no imagination."

Then there was a loud knock at the door.

"That might be my dad," said Ran. "See what I mean?"

"Coming," said Agasa. He walked over to the front room.

As soon as he unlocked and opened the door, Kogoro was there looking reasonably distressed. "Hey, Agasa-hakase, have Ran and that Kudo guy been staying at his house?"

"Why do you ask?" said Agasa.

"I haven't seen Ran since she stopped by to pick up her things, and I was too, uh, sleepy to remember, and also I was half dreaming at that time, but I think Kudo was with her. She didn't leave a note so I wanted to see what you knew. I don't want to barge in on them or anything. " He was fidgeting with his hands.

Ran and Shinichi were listening in around the corner.

"Your father is an idiot," said Shinichi.

"Shh. He at least got the general idea of it."

"Well," said Agasa, "didn't you notice anything strange about that?"

Kogoro looked surprised. "Uh, well… I think I was dreaming because Ran was kind of short. It's weird, I know. I have weird dreams when I drink alcohol. Besides that trifle, there really was nothing else."

Agasa sighed. "What if I told you that that was actually not a dream?"

Kogoro looked really confused. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Think about it, Mouri."

Kogoro obeyed and put his hand up to his chin in an exaggerated gesture of deep thinking. If his dream wasn't really a dream, huh? What he saw turned out to actually be what happened? That would mean that Ran had approached him and said...that she was a little kid. Which matched how she looked. Which meant Ran was actually a little kid?

"So, uh, what are you implying?" said Kogoro. "That Ran is.. a kid? But that doesn't make any sense. Is this one of your psychology experiments?"

"Sadly, it's not any sort of experiment," said Agasa. "What you saw really happened. Ran and Shinichi were at Tropical Land, and after Shinichi solved a murder case, both of them decided to follow a dangerous pair of thugs into a dark corner of the park on the outskirts to see what they were up to."

"Then what?" Kogoro's nervous habits begin to disappear and in place was fatherly concern.

"Both of them were caught eavesdropping. The men they followed were involved in gun smuggling. They were given a poison that the men expected would kill them, but they ended up undergoing a rare side effect and now not only did they survive, they both look like they are around first grade."

Kogoro stared at him. Then he began to laugh. "That's a really good story, Agasa. You should get that published."

"I wish it was a story," said Shinichi, who decided to walk into the room at that very moment. Ran followed him meekly.

Kogoro fainted. Agasa caught him before he fell onto the hard tile floor.

"I didn't know my dad was so weak," said Ran. "It must be the alcohol."

"No, this is weird enough for alcohol to be out of the equation," said Shinichi.

"That reminds me, what about my mom? And Shinichi's parents?"

"Maybe it's best if we keep this in an inner circle, at least until one party or the other wants to visit," said Agasa.

"They'll get mad for not being informed right away, though."

"We might have to deal with that. We can't make too many suspicious moves. The people who poisoned you know Shinichi's name, and therefore they could freely look up his address and information."

"But they think we're dead."

"They didn't find the bodies, though," said Shinichi. "Those guys just gave us the poison and walked away before they could see what actually happened."

"Does this mean we're going to have to pretend to be dead?" asked Ran. "With a fake funeral and everything?"

"Possibly," said Shinichi. "I mean, if the bodies just disappeared, the bad guys could think we survived and are on the lam."

"Or that no one bothered to look for the bodies."

"They just left us out in the open. They set it up so that our corpses would be found easily in the daytime, long after they left."

"Can we stop talking about our hypothetical dead bodies?"

"Okay, okay. But we still need to conclude this. From our position, what moves can we make?"

"They don't know who Ran is, just what she looks like," said Agasa. "Right?"

"Looked like," said Ran.

"Stop joking around," said Shinichi. "I told you to knock that off already."

"Sorry," said Ran. "Still, they only know my first name because while we were at that murder case, Shinichi mentioned it."

"Do you think they could look it up in a database, judging just from a first name?" asked Agasa.

"Probably," said Shinichi.

"We can't just tell everyone we're dead," said Ran. "Sonoko and my mother would be devastated."

"But we can't just leave them looking happy at your pretend funeral."

"I'm sure that the both of them have good enough acting skills to get through something like that."

"We can't just make our decisions on assumptions. If we're found out because anyone slips up, we'll probably be dead, along with everyone they think is suspicious of knowing too."

"So we can't trust the people we're closest to?"

"Unfortunately, no, we can't."

"Enough of that, Shinichi," said Agasa. "We don't even know how the bad guys' institution will act. They might be rookies at this. They could simply be hired assassins who don't bother with the paperwork or fact checking. You can't just overestimate every villain you run across."

"It might save our lives to do so. We'll be able to disappear and fly under the radar if we carry out the plan of pretending that we're dead and not just six years old."

Kogoro, who was now on the couch, started to wake up.

"Good timing," said Agasa. "Now we can really make some decisions."

Kogoro put a hand over his eyes. "How long was I out? Wait, where am I again?"

"You're in my house," said Agasa. "You were only passed out for maybe ten minutes."

He sat up. "Wait, that's right, what about Ran?" He looked down. "Oh. This is really unsettling. How did this even happen? Is this your fault, Kudo?"

"It's not my fault," said Shinichi. "It's only mostly my fault, and somewhat Ran's."

"Yeah," said Ran. "We decided on that."

"Can't you figure out some way to fix this?" asked Kogoro, looking up at Agasa.

"Sadly, no. We tried to locate the poison in the bloodstream, but it's gone without a trace."

"But what am I going to do about this? My daughter can't go to school like this! Or even in public. And she can't hang out with her friends. And if Eri gets word of this, she'll blame me like she always does."

"I'll tell her myself," said Ran. "The same goes for Sonoko."

"If that's what you want to do, okay then," said Kogoro.

"Also, we need to figure out a way to cover this up," said Agasa. "The guys who poisoned them are probably out looking for news reports, police actions, et cetera."

"I'll talk to the Tokyo police about it," said Kogoro.

"We have to get word out that Ran and Shinichi have 'died', or else they'll realize that something fishy is up."

"So I have to pretend she's dead?"

"Can you play a convincing man in mourning?"

"I hope so."

"This is what I meant," said Shinichi. "If he had never found out then this wouldn't be a problem."

"If you weren't a kid I'd show you a thing or two," said Kogoro.

"Calm down, you two," said Ran. "What are we even going to do while all this goes on?"

"I guess you could stay with me, and maybe Shinichi can stay with Agasa."

"Once those men find out that one of the victims was your daughter, they're going to be suspicious if someone else starts living in the house," said Agasa. "I would recommend that she stay here as well."

"I guess that makes sense. But now I won't have anyone to cook for me..."

"You can figure it out," said Ran. "You'd probably do a better job than mom."

"I'm not borrowing her cookbooks, though."

"Also, I think it would be easier to avoid suspicion if they went to school instead of staying inside all day," said Agasa.

Shinichi groaned.

"Quit your whining, this is partially your fault anyway," said Kogoro.

"But won't it be suspicious if we just show up at the elementary school as new students?" asked Ran.

"I hate to do this to you, but we'll probably have to think up fake names," said Agasa. "Even if they think you're dead, we can't take chances."


	4. I forgot what happens in this one

"Ran, where have you been? I've been calling your house all day. You're not still out gallivanting with Shinichi, are you? You know that we had specific plans to hang out."

"Sorry Sonoko, something came up."

"Uh, your voice…"

Ran decided to just get it over with. "Well, uh, I've been turned into a kid, so…"

Sonoko began to laugh on the other line. "That's great, Ran! But you really shouldn't be playing with helium. I heard it's not good for your brain."

"Really, Sonoko."

"What are you talking about?"

"You should probably just come over to Agasa-hakase's house and see for yourself."

* * *

Sonoko walked down block 21. What was Ran talking about? Was this some sort of convoluted practical joke?

No, wait, Sonoko trusted Ran. Ran was an honest individual. Why would she doubt what Ran had told her over the phone? Why would Ran call her up in that strange high pitched voice and tell her that she was a kid?

That kind of insanity only happened in romantic mangas that some of the more different girls in class would ogle over. She was no fool. There had to be something up with this situation.

Maybe the caller on the phone wasn't actually Ran, and it really was a practical joke. But it had been Ran in all her speaking mannerisms. Someone might be really good at imitating her. Unless that really was Ran, which it wasn't.

Finally she stopped in front of Agasa's laboratory. What business did Ran have here? She didn't normally call her friends to come hang over at the old guy's house, which was full of dusty technology and dangerous chemicals. She walked up the pathway and knocked on the door. It was answered by Detective Mouri.

"Oh, Mouri-tantei," said Sonoko. "What are you doing here?"

Kogoro sighed. "What Ran told you on the phone is true."

"What do you mean by that? That she's a kid or something? What kind of practical joke are you all pulling?"

"None whatsoever. Do you need proof? Ran's in the kitchen."

Sonoko half-ran past Kogoro and then stopped. "Where's the kitchen?"

"I'm right here, Sonoko," said Ran, who walked out of what was presumably the kitchen.

"What the heck?" said Sonoko.

"Ran and Shinichi were turned into kids by a rare side effect of a poison that they were poisoned with made by two suspicious men who they were tailing," said Agasa.

"Uh, can they… turn back?"

"I'm afraid not, at least not at the moment."

"That sucks, Ran. I'm sorry I doubted you on the phone."

"I wouldn't expect anyone to believe this at first sight, anyway," said Shinichi.

"I had this really nice outfit I was saving for your birthday, too," said Sonoko. "Now what? Do we just live with this?"

"I guess so," said Ran.

"I'm gonna miss having you at school."

"Also," said Agasa, "they were supposed to die, so you have to pretend Ran was murdered in a strange incident."

"Really?"

"We gave you the benefit of letting you know the real situation before it gets all over the news tomorrow that Ran and Shinichi were allegedly found dead. Don't pass a word of this on to anyone else."

"I wouldn't for my life."

* * *

"Are you serious?" asked Eri.

"I wish I wasn't, but it's true," said Ran.

"Are you… okay otherwise?"

"I guess so."

"I think I'm going to have to come over and assess this myself."

"Go ahead, we're staying with Agasa for a while anyway."

Eri hung up from the phone and turned to her secretary. "I think I'm going to have to take a bit of a leave from this case."

* * *

"Hey, aniki, check out the headlines for today." Vodka handed Gin a newspaper.

Gin opened it up. "Mysterious double death of two teenagers. That's exactly what we wanted to hear."

"Look at who the girl was."

"Mouri Ran?"

"She's the daughter of a small-time detective. It says that he's going to do the best he can to search for the killers."

"I don't think we need to be concerned. He doesn't appear to have any talent in the first place."

"The police are convinced it's a murder, though. They're on the lookout for 'two suspicious-looking men in black.' Someone witnessed this."

"If that's all the details they have on us, we have no need to be concerned."


	5. Isnt This The Funeral Chapter

Kogoro sat around overly indulging in alcohol as usual. He missed having Ran around to scold him, even if it had only been maybe a day or two since she started living at Agasa's. He had been procrastinating on learning how to cook and had been eating bento boxes. It was easy to pretend that you were in mourning when your life was already in the gutter.

Someone knocked at the door. Mouri approached it. "If this is about my daughter, I'm not in the mood," he said as he opened it up. Before him stood a young lady in modest attire and a tall man with glasses behind her.

"We offer our condolences," said the man, "but we require a detective of your caliber to consult our case."

Kogoro took another look at the pair. Something seemed familiar about the girl.

"May we come in?" asked the girl. Then Kogoro knew who it was. He ran into the closet, cleaned himself up, and returned instantly.

"Mouri Kogoro, detective, at your service, my fair lady," said Kogoro, who had just realized he was dealing with his favorite idol, Okino Yoko.

Yoko blushed. "Thank you for your kindness, Mouri-tantei. May we come in now?"

"Yes, right, out of the cold and into my office. Please be seated at the table and tell me all about what happened."

* * *

"This stalker could be connected to the men that poisoned you," said Kogoro over the phone.

"It seems too easy for that to be the case," said Shinichi. "Just tell us if you see anyone suspicious."

"You guys are coming with," said Kogoro. "I wasn't there. I don't have any clue what to look for."

"Fine, fine," said Shinichi. "I'll tell Ran."

* * *

"These kids are big fans of yours," said Kogoro. "I hate to have ulterior motives on this case, but they'd really like to see your place."

"It's okay," said Yoko. "It'll be cute."

Ran and Shinichi got into the back seat of the car next to Yoko. Shinichi had a pair of glasses on. Ran had a baseball cap.

"Wow, it's really Okino Yoko," said Ran. Kogoro flinched a little at Ran faking a naivete. "You sing so well."

"What's your name?" asked Yoko.

"I'm Kamizu Midori, and that's Edogawa Conan," said Ran. "He's my best friend." Kogoro sighed. Shinichi's name choice was incredibly conspicuous. Ran's was fine, though, although he couldn't fathom where she got the idea from, or why she let Shinichi get away with that name.

"What a strange name for a little boy," said Yoko. "I like it."

"Thanks, lady," said Shinichi. Kogoro also flinched at Shinichi's playing pretend. He was a little too good at it. Darn that Yukiko and her acting talent.

"Make sure not to get in our way when we investigate," said the manager. "This is adult business."

"Okay," said Shinichi.

"I know you're going to do that anyway," said Ran in a whisper.

"Yeah, I am."

* * *

The group finished climbing the stairwell and reached Yoko's apartment. "This is it," said Yoko. She took out a key and unfastened the lock. Ran was reminded of her difficulty when she tried to unlock the door to her own house and sighed. Shinichi looked over at her with a little curiosity.

"Hold on a second," said the manager. "There's a guy in there!" He got in front of Yoko and looked at the figure lying on the floor. It didn't move. Shinichi edged in between the adults and tried to take a look.

A body laid in the middle of the room surrounded by a pool of blood, a knife sticking in its back.

"Call the cops," said Shinichi. He ran over to the body and began to inspect it for signs of life, just like what he learned in his medical first aid handbook, which he slept next to at night in silent devotion. Yoko called 110 while looking at how a six year old had run up to the man's body like it was a new Christmas present.

The man was stone dead and had been that way for a couple of hours. Before Shinichi could investigate the stab wound, someone picked him up from behind.

"Get away from the body," said the manager. "You could catch something from it."

Shinichi was about to tell the man that that wasn't how dead bodies worked but something told him that it wouldn't produce much of a better result. He was set down farther away in the apartment near Ran.

"That was really careless of you," said Ran. "Almost like some sort of instinct."

"I'm going to have to knock that off if I want to seem natural, I guess."

"I know you want to solve the case really badly, but you're probably better off telling Otou-san what you've deducted."

"Not that he'll listen or anything. He still hates how I stole the competition, as lousy as his reputation was."

"Can't you two stop worrying about your star status and work together to figure this one out?"

"I could try."

"Don't try, just do it."

Inspector Megure's imposing figure stepped through the door. "Oh, it's you again, Mouri-san."

"Hey there, keibu-dono," said Kogoro.

"I'm sure you have a better explanation for this one than what you told us yesterday at the police station."

"Don't worry about that. That's nothing. This is a case that I was hired to work on, but it appears we have an unexpected casualty in the mix." Kogoro was sweating.

"You had no idea this was going to happen?"

"My client wished me to investigate a stalker."

"Fair enough." Megure and a slew of policemen filed into the room, several of which began to inspect the body.

Shinichi and Ran watched from a distance.

"Any idea who did this?" said Ran.

"If I could get closer to the body, maybe I could at least find some physical clues," said Shinichi. "This is ridiculous."

"Who are these two, Mouri-san?" asked Megure, who was suddenly much closer.

"Oh, these are my niece and nephew," said Kogoro. "They wanted to come along because they're such big fans of Yoko-san."

"You brought them along on a case?"

"Well, I didn't expect it was going to be murder. I only thought I'd be looking around at things."

"Fair enough, but maybe they should go home."

"Let me go talk to them about it."

Kogoro sauntered over to them and bent down so Megure couldn't hear. "It looks like this case has nothing to do with those suspicious men. I'm going to get Agasa to come pick you up."

"I've got an idea of who did it," said Shinichi. "But I need to see the body."

"Didn't you just hear what I said? You have to leave. This is my case."

"Look, you're going to get credit anyway, just hear me out. I think it was a suicide."

"A suicide? You can't just stab yourself in the back!"

"Mouri, what are you doing?" asked Megure.

"Oh, nothing, just telling them to get ready to leave. I'll have them get picked up by my friend."

"But," said Shinichi, "there's water around the corpse. I saw because the policemen's shoes are wet on the bottom, and there's no blood on the shoes. This is a trick to frame somebody."

"Shinichi, shh," said Ran.

"Shinichi? Where?" said Megure.

"Oh, I mean, if Shinichi-niichan were here, he would be able to figure this case out," said Ran.

"You should have more respect for the dead," said Megure. He turned his back on them and focused on questioning the manager.

This made Shinichi feel uneasy. He looked at Ran.

"This is what happens when you follow obviously suspicious men into a dark pathway," said Ran in a whisper.

"Wait, I have an idea," said Shinichi. He pointed at his bowtie. "I could use this to get their attention."

"Oh yeah, that voice changer might come in actual handy," said Ran. "But how are you going to use it?"

"Maybe if I just go hide behind a couch and change my voice to one of the investigators', I could get them to notice something about the body."

"Okay, but if you get caught, I'm not going to back you up."

Ran watched as Shinichi checked to make sure that he wasn't being watched, then walked over to the couch and changed some of the dials on the bow tie. Then he said in a deeper voice, "Inspector, why is the body wet with water?"

Nobody could pin down where the voice came from. The bowtie seemed to have some sort of voice-amplifying or throwing effect in addition to changing the pitch. Megure just shrugged his shoulders and turned to look at the body. "Now that you mention it," he said, "er, someone mentioned it, it does seem like the body is wet with something other than blood."

"Maybe the water used to be ice," said Shinichi.

"Okay, enough of this, who's saying all this?" said Megure.

Kogoro realized what was going on. "Uh, it's just me, Megure-keibu. I'm practicing ventriloquism."

"Stop goofing around and focus. What do you mean by that the water was once ice?"

"Well, uh…"

Kogoro's voice was interrupted by his own. Kogoro realized this and began mouthing the words. "There's also a strange indentation on the floor, which matches the width of the bottom of the knife's handle. Clearly this is a suicide. The perpetrator set up the chair so that he could fall back on the knife while it was encased in ice. The room is so hot because he turned up the heat so the ice would melt, leaving the water behind afterwards. This man did this to frame Okino Yoko."

"That's a very good deduction, Mouri, but where's your proof?"

Yamagishi-san has a hair of Yoko's in his pocket. He found this on the body earlier and hid it so that the police wouldn't discover it as evidence. The manager knows who this man is and wants to hide his connection with Yoko-san."

Yamagishi sighed and explained what happened. The police took him away for obstructing a proper crime investigation. Other stuff happened, but you've seen episode 3 and I'm sick of writing this part.

"Well, Mouri-san, you really did this one in," said Megure. "You might be better material as a detective than i thought."

Kogoro laughed nervously. "It's all in a day's work, Megure-keibu." He glanced over at Shinichi, who was smiling at him. That kid actually helped him look better than before. If he hadn't listened to Shinichi, he would have botched the case entirely.


	6. Kogoro Requires Shinichi As A Crutch

"Why is it a closed-casket funeral?" asked a female student.

"Maybe something happened to the bodies," said her friend. "I mean, we can't just believe what the newspaper said, that they were found dead with no obvious cause."

"Maybe it was too horrific for the papers," said another. "Maybe they found a secret nuclear plant conspiracy, and their faces were destroyed by the radiation."

"At Tropical Land? Psh. You dork."

"If there was something like that at Tropical Land, we'd be seeing the penguins with three eyes and two heads."

Mouri stepped on to the platform and gave a heartwarming speech about how he loved his daughter so well and then turned it into a furious rage of how whoever did this to them must have been horrible and depraved. He urged the audience to look for clues and to keep an eye out for suspicious people. They all watched him in a somber silence and agreed that bringing Ran and Shinichi's deaths to justice would be the best course of action, but they were high school students, not detective maniacs, and didn't know where to start.

Shinichi's parents were there, too, and Yukiko and Eri fake sobbed together, and Yuusaku looked off into the distance stoically as the empty caskets were buried. After all the mourners left, the only remaining eight were the aforementioned four, Ran, Shinichi, Sonoko, and Agasa.

"That was the most bizarre and moving thing I've ever been put through," said Ran. "Nice to know that everyone cares for me."

"Baka, you should have already known that," said Sonoko. "Anyway, now that you're fake dead, what are you going to do?"

"I was thinking of taking Shinichi and Ran to America, to keep them safe," said Yuusaku. "You know that with those killers still about, it's better to slip up where there's probably less of a chance of them being in the radius."

"I really doubt that they can slip up now without a reasonable effort," said Eri.

"And I need to find the men who did this, anyway," said Shinichi. "This is a case now. I have to find out who tried to murder us and stop them."

"That may be going too far," said Agasa. "You need to keep a low profile. If you just march on into their headquarters, you're going to end up worse than six years old."

"Plus," said Kogoro, "you did help me on that last case…"

"See? I'm needed here," said Shinichi.

"Are you sure that we can't let my associates in Interpol handle this one?" said Yuusaku.

"I think Shin-chan and Ran-chan have a better chance of finding things out like this," said Yukiko. "It's the perfect disguise. No one will suspect anything of them."

"It's a psychological disguise," said Yuusaku. "Nobody expects much from a child, or will actively do them harm without some hesitation. But I have this suspicion that the members of this organization that you're looking for won't be partial to children."

"We can handle it," said Ran. "Let us try it out."

"If that's your choice, Ran, then I support it," said Eri. "You've grown up so well."

"Not really," said Ran.

"Enough with the jokes," said Shinichi, crossing his arms. "It's embarrassing enough already."

"But it's so hard to stop when you're so cute," said Yukiko, hugging him.

"I get it, mom."

* * *

"These are the two new students I mentioned," said Kobayashi-sensei. "Their names are Edogawa Conan and Kamizu Midori."

The entire class chanted hello. Ran sat next to another girl, while Shinichi sat next to a tall boy. The lesson started, and it was on math. Two plus two is four, three plus three is six, et cetera.

Shinichi sighed and put his head down on the desk. Ran pretended to be listening but was really watching the other children for research purposes. She had to act like the rest of them. It wouldn't be too hard, but for Shinichi, who wasn't even a convincing teenager, it would probably be exhaustive to hide away all his trivial knowledge.

Shinichi regretted ever letting Agasa get them into school. This was the worst possible thing ever to happen. Maybe if he told the teacher who he was, she would let him work on high school-level studies. But of course that plan of action would only lead into bigger trouble.


	7. They Went to Frozen Palace Anyway

A knock came at Mouri Detective Agency's door. Kogoro stood up from his filing work and casually opened the door. "Yes?"

"I'm Hattori Heiji," said the guy. "I'm better known in the West than here as a high school detective."

"Oh, you're Hattori Heizo's son," said Kogoro. "What business do you have here?"

"With all respect to the dead, I came here because I was intrigued about the mysterious death of Kudo Shinichi and your daughter."

"We already have several police investigators on the case," said Kogoro. "I appreciate your concern, but we've already been searching."

Heiji pulled his hat down. "You're hiding something, aren't you?"

"Of course not, it's just that kids like you snooping into investigations is what got my daughter and her best friend killed."

"Don't worry about my legitimacy or my talent. I've solved hundreds of cases," said Heiji, "and I think this one will be the most interesting of all."

Kogoro was suspicious of this Osakan kid. He talked with too much confidence in his voice, he was heavily interested in Kudo, and was intensely interested in helping find his murderer. If he wasn't Heizo's son, Kogoro would have flagged him as a possible associate of the culprits. But Ran and Shinichi weren't really dead. If this guy found out and wasn't good at keeping secrets, it could be all over. But he had to act as if that wasn't the case in order to deflect the suspicion towards that in the first place.

"Well, I guess you'll have to confirm it with Megure-keibu and the rest of the police executives," he said, "but I would be happy to have you on the case."

"Consider this a personal favor," said Heiji.

* * *

Shinichi and Ran sat on the train with Agasa.

"This is so boring," said Shinichi. "There's nothing to do like this. I really need a mystery to solve."

"Stop wishing for murder," said Ran. "I'm sick of hearing that from you. Besides, if you want to keep out of the spotlight, you ought to enjoy the fact that you don't come across murders all the time."

"Besides, I don't even get proper credit for the cases I solve. Your dad gets all the attention. I've already solved around ten cases in his place, and he's taking all my fame."

"But if he gets popular, people are going to flock to him, and then we're going to probably get a lead on those thugs," said Agasa.

"But I hate being his crutch."

"Deal with it," said Ran.

Then two inconspicuously darkly dressed men walked by.

"Did you see that?" said Shinichi.

"Speak of the devil," said Agasa. "Okay, whatever you do, don't directly approach them."

"Too late," said Ran. Shinichi was already out of his seat and down the aisle.

"Dang it."

It's a good thing that Agasa made these tracker things, Shinichi thought to himself, as he casually laid out a chewing gum trap directly in the pathway of Vodka. No one will ever be the wiser.

Vodka stomped on the chewing gum with an air of satisfaction, not noticing that it had stuck in the arch of his shoe. Shinichi tapped a button on his glasses and he began to hear the transmitted conversation between them.

"I freaking love leaving our customers with an explosive surprise," said Vodka.

"You said it. My favorite part is when everybody screams."

"Hey Gin, let's go out for ice cream after this. My treat."

"You better take me to Frozen Palace, not the lousy store you love so much on block 12."

"But Frozen Palace doesn't have mint chocolate chip."

"I don't care. You can try a new flavor or something today."

Shinichi realized that before all this strange discussion of ice cream, they had mentioned that someone had received a bomb. He had to find out who had it before it blew the train to pieces.

How would a bomb be disguised in this situation? What would Gin and Vodka give the hapless victim that didn't look like a convincing bomb? How about a suitcase or something?

Shinichi proceeded to run through the aisle looking for suitcase-carrying passengers when he ran full force into Ran and fell over.

"What the heck, Shinichi," said Ran. "Look where you're going."

"Help me find a suitcase. Gin and Vodka gave someone a suitcase that's actually a bomb. We have to stop them."

"Who's Gin?"

"The other guy. I listened in on their conversation." In fact, Shinichi was still listening. Gin and Vodka were now talking about how they were going to get off the train when there was a bomb on it.

"How long did you set the time for, Vodka? Answer me honestly."

"30 minutes."

"You idiot. The train won't even arrive at the next station for a whole hour. You fricked up, Vodka."

"We have to get rid of the suitcase."

"What do you think we're going to do? Go up to that lady and politely ask to reconsider the deal?"

"We could steal it from her when she's in the toilet."

Ran had stopped trying to argue with Shinichi and was now listening to the talking glasses.

"You're leaving it up to the chance that she'll need to use the bathroom in the first place."

"Well then, what do you suggest?"

"I have a very good idea."

The transmitter went silent.

"Ran, we should probably start looking for a lady with a suitcase."

"I know. Since they were heading towards the back of the train car when we saw them, she's probably that way." Ran began to search in that direction.

"Good point," said Shinichi. He began to take up the search as well, but then a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned around. It was Gin.

"Hey, little boy, I'll give you some candy if you do a favor for us," said Gin.

Shinichi decided that playing along was the best option.

"Okay, mister."

"See that lady? She's got a suitcase that she stole from us. If you can sneak it away from her, we'll give you some candy."

"Oh, okay," said Shinichi, who proceeded to distract the lady in an extremely clever way. She headed off to the bathroom, and Shinichi took the suitcase and returned it to the thugs who had ruined his life. They gave him a Snickers bar.

"See, Vodka, now we won't be suspicious," said Gin.

"Wow, Gin, you're a genius."

"I know."

Shinichi went to look for Ran. She was three cars down.

"You'd think people would carry more suitcases in this day and age," said Ran.

"The situation is fixed now," said Shinichi. "The suitcase has been disposed of."

"Did I seriously miss someone?"

"Yeah, she was in the same car as us. Gin threw the suitcase out the window."

"How did he get it back?"

"They asked a little boy if he could swipe the suitcase when the lady wasn't looking. They gave him some candy. I think it ended up pretty well."

"Was that you?"

"Yeah. I didn't have any other choice."

"It's true that you did get rid of the bomb, but at the same time you completely were in league with those guys."

"Well, if I had said no and revealed who I was, then wouldn't I have been killed?"

"You could have just acted like a normal kid and freaked out and ran away."

"This isn't about acting, this is about saving everybody from the bomb."

"Still, that was freaking heinous."

"Oh well."

They returned to their seats with Agasa.

"Any new information?" he asked.

"That tall dude's name is Gin, and they gave someone a suitcase with a bomb in it, and they had to get rid of the bomb because they realized that they couldn't get off the train before it exploded," said Ran.

"That sounds really stupid."

"I think you should never try something like that again, Shinichi," said Ran.

"Well, sorry. Now it feels like you're just telling on me in front of Agasa so he can scold me too."

"What did you do?" asked Agasa.

"Gin asked me to distract the lady and take back the suitcase and gave me some candy as a result. He had no idea who I was."

"Seems like you had a death wish," said Agasa. "Also, now they know that you know that they exist. They might as well be holding a pistol to your head. If you show yourself doing something suspicious like following them, you might be fed that poison. Again."

"I don't want to know what would happen this time," said Ran.

"Let's avoid thinking about that," said Shinichi. "How about in the meantime I hook up the transmitter glasses again and see what they're talking about now?"

"You got a bug on them?" said Agasa.

"Heck yeah," said Shinichi, turning the glasses on again. The sound of Vodka's footsteps no longer dominated the transmission, so the two were probably finally taking a seat.

"I heard somebody got lucky with Vermouth last night," said Vodka.

"Shut up."

"This is inappropriate," said Ran. She reached over and turned off the glasses.

"Dang it, Ran. Well, now we know that there's someone named Vermouth in the mix," said Shinichi.

"I wonder how much these guys drink," said Agasa.

"Considering how they acted today, they probably are almost constantly drunk," said Ran.

"That Gin guy at least can perform regular comprehension and problem solving," said Shinichi, "while under the influence."

"Who can?"

Everyone looked over and it was Heiji.

"Who are you?" asked Ran.

"I'm the famous detective of the west, Hattori Heiji."

"Why are you listening in on our private conversation?" asked Shinichi.

"Don't worry, I only just heard that last part."

"Which last part?"

"The part about someone under the influence."

"Oh, yeah, there was a guy here earlier," said Shinichi, who was starting to pretend to be innocent because he realized that he wasn't acting very correctly for his age. "Agasa-hakase said that he was under the influence."

"But what was that about problem solving?"

"He was trying to solve a weird puzzle." Shinichi was beginning to break out in a sweat because his cover was at least partially blown. Ran watched him and was also in a slight state of panic, but she bit her lip and attempted to look completely neutral and innocent of the entire situation.

"Maybe I can help him, or escort him off this train. What does he look like?"

"I don't think he needed that kind of help," said Shinichi.

"So why are you talking to us?" said Ran.

"I heard that Agasa-hakase was pretty good friends with Mouri Ran and Kudo Shinichi, and I'm wondering if you know anything about what happened to them on that night."

Shinichi continued to break out in a cold sweat.

"I don't really know anything about what happened to them," said Agasa, "and the last time I saw Shinichi was before he left for school that day."

"How did you know we would be on the train?" said Ran.

"Who are you guys?" asked Heiji.

"I'm Edogawa Conan, and this is Kamizu Midori," said Shinichi. "We're distant relatives of Agasa-hakase."

"Sure."

"What do you mean, 'sure'?" said Ran.

"I lied, I was listening in for longer than I said."

"Well, Ran, looks like we fricked up again," said Shinichi.

"Okay, so you are Kudo and Mouri, but why are you also six year olds?"

"Are you ready to stop believing in modern biology forever?"

"Uh, I guess so." Heiji lifted up his cap, which he had not taken off since he had entered Kogoro's office. It was therefore soaked with more sweat than Shinichi's panic could ever provide.

"Have a seat," said Agasa.


	8. Epidoge

"You took candy from that guy? Are you a complete idiot? It's probably poisoned too," said Heiji.

"I had to act the part, okay? Also, I threw it away, so relax," said Shinichi.

"I guess my dad overestimated how well you would follow the clues," said Ran.

"So he's in on it, which was why he tried to stop me from investigating?"

"Yeah, but don't blame him for that. We all would rather not have more people know about this."

"Like who? I need to know if I get in contact with any of them eventually."

"Well, there's my mom, and my best friend Sonoko, and Shinichi's parents, and that's really it for our inner circle."

"But why would you ever get in contact with any of them?" said Shinichi. "I don't see the point of bringing you into this."

"I hate to pester your safety net, but I think this is the biggest case I've ever worked on," said Heiji. "If you and I can nab those thugs, who happen to be on this train at this exact moment, we'll get more than just headlines in the papers. We'll be national heroes."

"That's not the point," said Shinichi. "We have to lay low, or else you'll probably get killed off, too. Or end up like us."

"You really wouldn't want this," said Ran. "Trust us."

* * *

Ran and Shinichi stood in a park except they were normal now.

"That was the worst six months of my life," said Ran.

"Good thing it's over."

Shinichi got aboard a red motorcycle.

"Where are we going?"

"Where do you think?"

"Is it? Could you actually be going to…?"

"That's right. Hawaii."

"And not just any Hawaii…. Kawaii Hawaii."

"Right on."

"But how will we cross the ocean on a motorcycle?"

"All you have to do is believe."

Shinichi revved up the motorcycle and put a familiar tune on the radio.

/watch?v=S4swkeVQ8Fo

_Together forever, no matter how long -_

_From now until the end of time._

_We'll be together, and you can be s-_

"Oh gosh, please turn that crap off," said Ran. "It hurts."

"No," said Shinichi. He put the pedal to the metal. The motorcycle lifted up into the sky as the music went into a glorious reprise. The happy couple faded out over the orange sunset as the words "THE END" formed from the clouds.

* * *

Kogoro looked at the note on the table. It was written in scathing English.

"GOODBYE DAD SHINICHI AND I ARE IN LOVE WE R RUNNING AWAY TO HAWAIO TO B KAWAII TOGETHER 5EVER"

"Looks like being turned into a kid doesn't keep you sane for long," he said, wadding up the paper and throwing it away.

THE END


End file.
